Thursday, September 07, 2006

Open Joke Thread

We're bored. So thanks to the two hysterical jokes in the thread below, we've decided to do an open thread- where you tell us the funniest joke you know. All are encouraged to participate in the comments section.

Another option for people who are bored like us is to go over to Krusty and check out the food fight.

80 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can you tell when an Iowa grad has sent you a fax?

There's a stamp on it.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Yoda said...

hmmm.... What do Iowa grads call Iowa State grads?

Boss.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Caucus Cooler said...

Thank you Yoda. You can't tell me that all you hacks don't have any good jokes. They do not have to be ISU/IU related. But keep it relatively clean.

4:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So this guy walked into a bar and said...



Ouch

5:14 PM  
Blogger Yoda said...

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --- Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." ---- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" ---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." ---Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --- Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." --- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people ---Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the German out of France!" ---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." ---David Letterman

5:15 PM  
Blogger Krustette said...

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech,
and walked out into the lobby where he met President Bush.

They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

President Bush said, "Well, anything I can do to help you, I will."

The Iranian whispered "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there is Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, and Sulu who is Japanese, but no Arabs. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there
aren't any Iranians on Star Trek."

President Bush laughed, leaned toward the Iranian ambassador, and
Whispered back, It's because it takes place in the future."

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Blogger murphy said...

So you guys heard about Bush's trip to the vatican, right? Well recently the Pope came to repay the courtesy with visit of his own. Bush wanted to show the man a good time, so he took him out on his yacht.

Well they're out there having a great time, and a big gust of wind blows the Pope's hat right off. So all the secret service are calling for helicopter support, people are throwing on life jackets, and Bush says "Hold on fellas, let me handle this one." Then Bush climbs out of the boat, walks across the water to get the Pope's hat and brings it back.

"Gosh, thanks, that was great" says the Pope, and everyone's patting the President on the back. Well the next day, can you guess what the headlines are in the Washington Post?

BUSH CAN'T SWIM

2:28 AM  
Blogger Yoda said...

Hmmm.... Krustette, we have a winner!

I'm still laughing at that one!!!


WAR The Star Trek extras in red shirts that always die first on the away teams.

9:36 AM  
Blogger The Body Politic - Joshua Gross said...

So... a priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar...

and the bartender says, what is this, some kind of joke?

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The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Bob?"

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